It seems that squirmy newborns are rather difficult to get pictures of.
2 kids. It's a really big change. Prior to having Hazel I heard mixed reviews from friends and acquaintances about adding a second to the family. Some said it was no big deal, some said it was really hard. Were the ones that claimed the first lying? It's not like it's anything terrible. It's so so wonderful to add another member to our family. Especially the sweet sweet thing that she is. I just feel like it's going to take a significant amount of time to settle in, figure out some kind of a routine, and get used to it. I don't think I realized how much time out of the day my E still needs me. He needs my love, he needs my attention. He's just 2. It was most definitely hard for him to scoot over and allow that time and attention to be shared. At one point, he looked around the room, and started grabbing anything that belonged to his sister claiming it was his. "MINE!" "MINE!" Instead of feeling angry with him, I felt the opposite. I felt really, really sad. I began to bawl at the thought of my first baby boy whom I have coddled and swooned over for the past 2 years feeling so threatened. Then my dad helped me realize something. This is part of his growth. A natural path in his life that has to be crossed in order for him to become a better young man. He's learning to be less selfish. He's learning about loving someone younger. He's learning about family. He now has a sibling for the rest of his life, and these are certainly not things to feel bad over.
I'm terrified to go out by myself with the 2 of them. Is grocery shopping even achievable? Do you all take BOTH of your kids out for errands, or do you wait until someone can watch one or both of them? I nearly fall apart when both of them are crying at the same time. How do I pick who to help? I've been choosing to let baby girl cry a little, while I tend to E. I figure he knows better. Am I wrong? I find it hard to keep both bums dry all the time. If I keep up on sister poop machine, I find I've neglected E and his pants are soaked through. It's tough to avoid the guilt. It seems I'm feeling guilty about one or the other no matter what. If I'm taking time to spend with E (which is most of the day) then I feel guilty about H spending the day in her bouncer. If I take time to hold H, then I feel bad about E taking a back seat. I've just had to tell myself "it's ok." It's ok for E to play alone, and it's ok for H to have alone time too. It's just going to be different.
So far, it's been a difficult but enjoyable ride. We've got the rest of our lives to go! E has started to call little H "Hazie." Which melts my heart. He's been nothing but kind to her, and he loves to kiss her but does NOT like to hold her. He's slowly learning to play by himself, and I'm slowly learning to be ok with it. Hazel is such a little angel. Despite the fact that she grunts like a nanny goat 80% of the night, she's incredibly sweet and nurses like a champ which is a huge relief compared to my experience nursing E. I don't think she looks much like E. I'm not really sure who she looks like. She's her own little person with a beautiful set of lips and the most darling hair color that I really hope stays.
As for me? I'm feeling pretty good! Ready to get my hair done, start working out, and stop looking/feeling like I just had a baby. I'm really emotional about my sweet family. I've got a really helpful and loving husband, the funnest, coolest, loving little boy, a lovely little baby girl, and a ton of helpful and thoughtful family and friends. I thought to myself yesterday, that although there's an adjustment period that seems tough, these are some of the best times of my entire life. Family is really just what life is all about.