Lately, I've been pondering on becoming a mother to a little girl. I'm excited, very excited. But, sometimes I'm scared. As much fun as I look forward to having someone to paint nails with, sing princess songs with, and go shopping with, (oh please let her love shopping) I know how sensitive girls are. I know how sensitive I am. I know that girls can be an inner mystery of deep feelings and worries. My prayer is that I can teach her to be strong. Teach her to be resilient in a tough world, but help her keep the inner sensitivity that will help her to be compassionate and nurturing.
I found Tina Fey's prayer to be pretty freakin hilarious. I hope you enjoy it like I did. Happy weekend.
"First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty. When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half... Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called 'Hell Drop,''Tower of Torture,' or 'The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,' and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age... Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short... O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers... And when she one day turns on me and calls me a B in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Sh%^&t. I will not have it. And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. 'My mother did this for me once,' she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. 'My mother did this for me.' And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes. Amen." - from BossyPants, by Tina Fey
P.S. Blame it on pregnancy, but I bawled during the end. Thank you mom. Thank you dad. I think I'm only beginning to understand.