3.13.2011

An update.

So, I've been gone for a while. I had to take a break for several reasons. Most of which are positive changes in my personal and family life. I really need to thank all of my friends and readers for the love and support that was sent my way through comments, emails, texts, cards, tweets, and facebook messages. It meant so very much to know that even people who have never met me have been concerned about my whereabouts and my well being, and I appreciate so much the encouragement to continue posting. I've missed social media. I'm looking forward to continuing my blogging hobby and reconnecting with so many of you. Going forward I anticipate that I'll need to post as time allows, and post about things I enjoy. I don't want my blog to be about pressure, and I want it to represent me. So, I'd love to share an update!
 cardi:F21, tank: HMD, belt: DI, skirt: DI 
I'm very excited to announce that I am currently working on growing the next addition to our family. I'm roughly 18 weeks along and starting to feel pretty darn good. In the beginning, I just felt so exhausted, like I could literally crawl into bed and sleep from Monday to Wednesday without a stir. I've had moderate morning sickness, but got hit with a near 2 week hell raising sinus infection that counter productively caused me to lose all appetite and toss anything I tried to keep down. I'm thankful to be through with that, and now focus on much more important things like whether I need to prepare for a brother, or lose sanity and go nuts preparing for a sister. I must say that I've already experienced extremely different emotions with this pregnancy than I did before. I feel guilty, I feel nervous, I feel scared, I feel inadequate, and frankly I'm a little more mean. It's like I instantly realized that the cherished one on one time I have eagerly spent doting over E is now numbered. Our time and relationship are bound to change, and I'll be honest, that scares me. I feel an urgency to spend every day teaching, playing, laughing, and making memories strong enough to last beyond the introduction of a new sibling. It seems like when the day doesn't turn out the way I had hoped I feel disappointed and depressed. I sometimes feel guilty that I don't feel the same way about this pregnancy as I did with the last. There's just no comparison to the way you feel with your first baby, and that makes me feel like this baby is already getting the shaft. I also have terrible fears of never being able to love another human being as much as I love my E. At this point in time, I feel that he has taken up every inch of space I might have to offer in my heart. He's squeezed his way into every single nook and cranny to the point I feel it might burst. He's the face I see and think about the most, the voice I listen to and hear even when he's not around, and the person in this world who makes me happier than any other person place or thing. I believe that love works in its way, sometimes I just feel like I'm gonna need to see it in action. At the same time, I feel a great amount of joy, gratitude, and excitement for this new and upcoming edition. Is that possible?

I'm doing new things with my job. Working 2 part time jobs was really starting to ware me out in all sorts of ways. I've finally consolidated to working one job part-time at Uppercase Living. I'll also continue to do hair from my home salon. I'm ecstatic to announce that I have been given the opportunity to exercise my creative and styling skills for Uppercase Living. I will be coming up with and creating many of the concept design projects. I finally feel like I'm getting paid to do something I'm passionate about which is a huge, huge blessing. If I have to leave my babies, it makes it that much easier knowing I enjoy what I'm doing.
 And for my favorite thing to talk about, an update on my E man. It seems he is now officially a "big boy." Although I'm not sure I'll ever come to terms with it. He's moved from his crib to a big boy bed, which he lovingly refers to as "NEW BED!" Any sleep schedules and habits we had worked his entire life to form were completely tossed out the window with the addition of his new bed. He's come to the decision that bed = missing out. I think he believes that Trav and I are putting him to bed just so we can have a carnival in our living room without him. We're starting over by having lots of chats about why we need sleep. They usually go something like this: Me: Mommy sleeps, Daddy sleeps, monkeys sleep, kitties sleep, doggies sleep,... E: Elephants? He is talking more than ever and entertains us on a daily basis. He loves to say "Guess What?" and tries really hard to follow it with something interesting, but usually can't think of anything to say afterward. He's learning his manners which means he doesn't get what he wants until he says "may I please." He loves to say "bless you" after anything that sounds remotely like a sneeze including coughs and throat clearing, and strangers in the grocery store are not exempt. Also, we must be over praising him, because he's resorted to praising himself after doing a good deed. For example, he says "excuse me" after he burps and promptly follows it with "good boy" or builds a tower with blocks and follows it with "good job!" He believes in the power of mommy healing, and insists that I kiss every injury whether small or large better before he can continue playing. I won't ever complain about that. He's my best pal, and so much fun to hang out with despite a wave of temper tantrums that have introduced me to his angry side. I can report that he knows my tummy has something to do with a baby, but is more interested in "ding donging" my belly-button than talking baby. I feel like such a lucky mom, and hope for a 2nd baby as amazing as my first.

As for frugal fashion, I'm ready for a challenge. I'll be the first to admit that my weight gain was pretty steep last pregnancy. This time I'm trying to do better not only for me, but for the health of the baby. (No promises.) I just feel so hungry! All the time. It seems it's the only thing that keeps me from feeling nauseated and carries me through the day. Dressing without a waist is definitely more challenging, but I feel up to it. At least right now. :) After a few emails with my friend Elaine, and a blessed Skype session with Syd, I feel motivated again.

How are ya'll doing? 



P.S. Still happily married despite the absence of wedding ring in my pics.

63 comments:

Silvia said...

Sarah! Congrats and good for you! You have darling babies, so excited for you!

Natalie Jane said...

YAY!!! Congrats and great to have you back. Blogosphere was not the same...

Nikki @ Life Of A Single Mommy said...

Congratulations and welcome back to blogging! I have missed your posts! :)

Meredith said...

i so knew it. fun fun :)

kylee said...

oh my! congrats on the pregnancy! blog world has missed you.

Sarah said...

Yay you're back!!! So glad to have you back, I'm so happy for you!

Monica said...

1st, CONGRATS!!! So exciting! I had a feeling that maybe you were 'sick'!
2nd Welcome back!! Looking forward to more RFF! I am sure you will rock the baby bump!

Little Miss Penny Wenny said...

Sarah, congrats! Oh my gosh I had no idea but am so stinkin excited for you. I totally understand what you mean about not being able to even imagine loving another child as much as your first. Everyone tells me that your hearts just continues to grow. Hard to imagine right now but I have no doubt that will happen for you as well. You are such a great mommy, can't wait to see what the stork brings you. Are you finding out? 2 more weeks?

Bri {collected} said...

So glad you're back! Congrats and you look gorgeous!

Maggy said...

Congratulations on the new addition!!! so glad you're back :)
Can't wait to see your RFF pregnancy posts ( I just made that up, but u probably are right?? :)

congrats on the job too!

I think so too, that I love so much my son that it makes it impossible to be able to love another one the same.
I'll have to find out on my own :)

* you look amazing BTW *

Naomi. said...

congratualations I am so happy for you! :) .



www.akindofbeauty.blogspot.com

Marie said...

I was wondering where you were!! Glad to hear things are alright and that you're back to blogging. Congrats on the pregnancy! I had the EXACT same feelings as you when I became pregnant with my second. Like, exactly. I think it's normal :) You'll be a fabulous mother of two.

Oh, My Darling said...

Congrats on your super-exciting pregnancy news!!

Dawn said...

Eeeekkk! I am so excited for you!! I missed you! I always looked forward to your posts and was so glad to see that Sydney mentioned you were doing well :) I was worried. But I see there was no reason to be lady! You look uh- ma-zing! You are so wonderful with E I a certain you will transition to be being amother of 2 perfectly. No worries mama.

Jessi said...

My mom always tells me the story of her pregnancy with my younger sister... she was afraid after she got pregnant. she felt that she couldn't love another baby as much as she loved me...
my dad told her, "barb, you don't run out of love. you just make more."

your post made me think of my parents...

you'll make more love!

thanks,

Jessi

Whatever Dee-Dee wants said...

Congratulations! I'm glad to hear everything is going so well for you.

We keep putting off switching our son into a big boy bed. I am dreading it :)

A+L Chronology said...

I. Could. Not. Be. Happier. I have missed your posts TERRIBLY!! And new baby on the way??? SO wonderful!!!

Heather said...

I was thinking you were pregnant with you couldn't go to the Linkin Park concert in "your condition". but Congrats!!! I'm happy for you.

Kristina P. said...

Congrats, Sarah! You look beautiful.

Anna of IHOD said...

YAY!!! So happy to see you back! I have missed your posts!
1) CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am soo so happy for you. You are almost half way there! And you are glowing:)
2) Congratulations again on getting to do more of what you love! keep us posted!
3) Little E is as cute as ever.

Lastly, I am about to pop with my second and I can totally relate to your emotions of trying to treasure each and every day with your little man. I have had a few cry sessions with hubby about how I am not ready to let go of my first growing up. I keep reminding myself what a gift it will be for him to have a sibling. He loves babies:)
Blessings!
Anna

Amy N. said...

Happy to hear from you! Congratulations on the new addition!

I really felt very similar to how you feel right now when I was pregnant with my second. I'm sure you get sick of people giving advice so I won't give any (unless you want some, I love to dish out advice) but I'm sure this will all come to a happy conclusion.

You look beautiful pregnant!

Shay said...

Can't wait to hear what baby Lars will be!!

Shay said...

Can't wait to hear what baby Lars will be!!

Jill said...

It's very nice to have you back!

Congrats on your new growth! Can't wait to watch you grow and dress your bump!

Heidi Jo said...

i knew it! super duper excited for you....so very happy! congratulations.

Annie said...

So excited for you! You look gorgeous, and I know you will rock that belly in your outfits! You are beautiful, and again, I'm so happy for you! :)

She Loves The Color Pink said...

I've been wondering where you were! Congrats on baby #2. That is so wonderful. You look fabulous!

Miss L said...

Congrats, Sarah! You're adorable pregnant!

You've been on my Google Reader for a few months, and I was wondering where you'd disappeared to. So glad you're fine and well! :)

Better Than a Milk Mustache

Sydney said...

Ha I knew it! I wanted to come right out and ask but I decided not to be nosy. Congratulations! Glad to have ya back.

Madeline said...

Congrats! Loving the skirt over the bump!

Chelsea said...

So exciting, congrats Sarah! I'm just a few weeks ahead of you and have NO CLUE what in the world I'm supposed to wear. Maybe I can take a lesson or two from you now. :) Congrats again!

Annastacia said...

Congrats! I was hoping your absence had something to do with such wonderful news! i am expecting as well right now (I am 30 weeks) but I am feeling so many of the same fears you are. You are not alone :) Also I think you are probably the cutest little pregnant lady ever! So don't worry about the weight gain or dressing cute, I am sure you will be fabulous at it! Good luck and so happy to have you back

Carrie said...

Oh I totally had a hunch;) When someone is gone for a couple months--it's morning sickness!

sisters4saymoreismore said...

we've missed you beauty! congrats on the growing peanut!

~selina

Job and Rachael said...

So glad you are back :) I was thinking that MIGHT be the reason for the short absence. I am glad it is such a happy reason :) All the best with the pregnancy and everything else life throws at ya.

Michelle said...

CONGRATS! You're just a little over a month behind me. Looking forward to some pregnancy fashion ideas because I am burnt out already.

Justine said...

Congrats! I'm so glad to hear/see everyone is well, and throw a new baby on top of it! You look great by the way.

Just Better Together
come check out The Vintage Scarf giveaway

Matt and Brooke said...

Yay! glad you are back! congrats on the baby!!

Stacie said...

Cute pictures! Maybe we'll have the same gender this time? Maybe we'll have all our babies together?! :) I do think our ward name should be changed to the Maternity Ward.

Hilary said...

I just started following your blog and you are just the cutest! Congrats on the pregnancy and I hope that sinus infection stays away!

Hilary
level20wife.blogspot.com

Cline Family said...

YAHOO!!! I was wondering what was up! I have missed your blog posts! Congratulations!!!

Leigh said...

Congratulations on all counts!

Tessa said...

AHHHHH! YOU'RE BACK, YOU'RE BACK! I'm so happy and CONGRATS! That is so exciting. You are just one cute little family! P.s. LOVE the outfit. I missed you and I am so glad you are back and ready to rock again!

-Tessa
www.totallytessa.com

geri e. said...

How adorable are you!! Congrats Congrats Congrats!

The Dragonfly said...

Congratulations on the pregnancy. Have checked in each day to see if you were back. Glad to see you're okay! As a monther of four I can tell you that I felt those same fears with each pregnancy, but a mother's love truly has the ability to expand and grow with the most amazing capacity. E will still be so special to you and the new baby will fill new nooks and crannies of your heart you didn't even know you had!

Kellie said...

congratulations! that's really exciting! i can relate to your feelings about having a new one coming!

Heidi Jo said...

"I also have terrible fears of never being able to love another human being as much as I love my E."

i had to come back and encourage you a bit. there isn't a mom among us who hasn't felt that while carrying our second. the GREAT thing is, that the feeling is reserved for the second pregnancy only.

a quote given me a LONG while back, when i was a mom of one and one on the way has proven true in ways i could have NEVER understood at the time.

"Love never divides. It multiplies."

you do not have to savor up moments with your precious son, those moments will not cease, they will evolve and become something more lovely than you could possibly imagine. your love for him will NEVER ever diminish. i guarantee you that when you look into the eyes of this newest member, your heart will come very near bursting.

it only gets better and better.

but the feelings you are having are TOTALLY normal and something that all honest mom's can identify with whole-heartedly!

bless you dear girl! that is the prettiest baby bump ever.

Aubrey Anne said...

Ahhh! Yay! :) Congratulations. I have to say, everything you're thinking/feeling is TOTALLY normal. But somehow your heart will grow when that new baby comes... there's no need to fit New Baby into the same space you had for E. My mother-in-law bought a book for Son #1 when I was pregnant with Son #2, and I highly recommend it! It's called "A Room in My Heart" by Beverly Evans. It's a really cute way to teach E that you'll always have special room in your heart for him, and for Daddy, even though you're going to have a new room for New Baby. :) Congratulations girl!

*Rose* said...

Congratulations!! We all missed you terribly on the blog so glad to see you back. The photos are adorable btw!

mom2four said...

I'm so glad to see you back but TOTALLY understand the break :) You were dearly missed! I'd love to "hear" how you did your hair in the pics, super cute!

"H" is for Heather said...

I'm a bit behind, but SO excited for you! Congratulations :) Glad to have you back to blogging! <3

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

18 weeks!! 18 weeks!! GREAT! now we can't be friends. Cause quite frankly, you are WAY to small to be 18 freakin' weeks!
I think I looked like that at 6 weeks, seriously.
And I don't care that I'm pregnant with my fifth, I'm declaring it totally unfair.
Where's the complaint box?
Okay fine, we can still be friends, because you are just too cute and sweet not to love. So congrats girl!
And I hope you really do feel better soon (even though people telling me to feel better soon never worked for me) :D

Green Acres in the City said...

So excited for you. I remember all of those same feelings of guilt2+ years ago when I was carrying Henry. Cameron was 5 and I had been just his for so long and now he was going to have to share his Mama and Daddy. But you know what? You do have enough love for both. Your heart just grows. Cameron loves his little"hankie" as he calls him and is the best big brother any Mama could ask for. Hugs and prayers!

Meg said...

CONGRATS! We've all missed you so! Very happy for you! Thanks for the update, pretty mama! :)

MEGAN LAND
xx

tanalicious said...

congrats! that is great news. and you look awesome.

we've missed you.

The Suburb Experiment said...

Congratulations! After I got pregnant with our second child I went through the same thing as you are now. Along with all those emotions, I wondered if I was being greedy and my want for another child was going to "mess up" our perfect little family of 3.

I'm happy to report that my baby is now 7 months old and watching my 2 girls interact is so special - it melts my heart every day. You'll find your capacity for love just grows as your family does.

Good luck!

Jenn

Owens' said...

Sarah, I have never commented on someone's blog, but your post inspired me to. I am not a blogger, nor do I even read many blogs. I stumbled on yours last fall when searching for circus party ideas for first birthdays ( yours was adorable, by the way). My husband and I recently started trying for our second baby. Your post put into words everything I am feeling when thinking about having a second. In fact, I'm still wiping tears from my eyes. I am a full-time working mommy who still cries most Sunday nights about going back to work for the week and leaving my sweet boy. He has filled every inch of my heart! Although I don't know you at all, I so look forward to reading about your journey with your next little peanut! Congratulations to you! I pray for good health for you and
the baby.
Amy O

Owens' said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kassie said...

Oh, you are adorable!

Rhonda said...

So excited! Congrats~

Heidi Sue said...

Congratulations! I have been wondering where you were! I was hoping one of the reasons was pregnancy! Yay for number 2!

Sarah said...

YAY!!! So happy your back and a giant congrats! E man has grown up so much! So cute!

Heather said...

I had a hard time with my second as well. I loved Keely so much, I didn't think I could love another as much. And the entire pregnancy, I didn't seem as excited as I was with the first. And when Carter finally came, I had a really hard time for a while. I didn't care to be around him. I felt horrible. just make you you let Travis how your feeling so that you don't keep it all bottled up like I did. it is so much easier if someone knows what your going through. Love ya!