2.04.2010

Language of Love

                                                                                                                
You've heard of the 5 Love Languages right? If you haven't go here. In the spirit of Valentine's Day I pose the question: "What's your Love Language?" Honestly, when I first heard about this concept I thought it was really weird. It's so true though. On the website you can take a quiz that tells you what yours is. I'll admit, I haven't read the book, {maybe someday I will.} but I do know about the concept, and I do think it's worth a thought. I dropped Travis a subtle hint about my Love Language by sending him an email with the link and description to my language which is Words of Affirmation. {he didn't ever reply back.} I guess it makes me sound like an insecure, unstable, compliment lovin, kind of gal. Maybe it's true. I know I like myself, and I like to think I have confidence in myself, but when it comes to my marriage relationship or my relationship, hearing I am loved and appreciated makes me feel loved and appreciated. Here's a quote from the website:

Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

This is so true for me. The website also says:

"Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence."

There's that word again- insecurity. In the words of Kanye West: "We're all self-conscious, I'm just the first to admit it." {Don't judge. I may or may not have owned a few edited Kanye albums when I was dating Trav down in Provo. He used to be a big rap fan.}

Some of the other Love Languages include Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time. I'd like to know if there's a man out there whose Love Language isn't Physical Touch. I'm sure it's possible. I bet there are people who respond better to a combination of a couple Languages, and maybe we respond to different ones at different times or with different moods. {I guess I'll have to read the book.}

Trav's Love Language just happens to be Physical Touch. Here's what the website says about it:

"This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive."

It's helpful and important to me to know what helps him feel loved the most. I might be more inclined to grab his hand or kiss him on the cheek just because. When he's upset or stressed, a prolonged hug can go a long way. That's not to say that I don't want a hug when I'm stressed, but if he could accompany it with "It's gonna be ok." it wouldn't hurt one bit.

If you can get your hubby to talk about their Love Language, I think it's a really valuable conversation.

Happy February, and What's your Love Language?

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Image credit: Getty Images

10 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Interesting theory, isn't it? I actually read the book on a road trip a while back. Since it was just Spencer and I in the car I decided to read it out loud (help give him some hints;)) I thought it was interesting to discover not only how we perceive love, but how we give and show love (which is often two different languages for one person). We both realized that we were showing love in ways that the other was not always picking up on. It was interesting to read together.

Well, I have been meaning to comment on a few other of your posts. So, I am off to give you some words of affirmation.

A Real Housewife said...

you have such an adorable family!

Amy said...

Matt & I read this book, or the pages that applied to us, rather. It has helped a lot. Mine is acts of service! It was interesting to read how if each person doesn't get shown love in the their love language, they don't feel loved. How sad is that? This is something everyone needs to know in their marraige!

Kellie said...

i still need to read this too. nick and i have talked about it and he's definitely physical touch too. mine is 'acts of service'. noticing that he's filled my gas tank makes me weak in the knees :)

Shay said...

just want to "affirm" my friendship with you. You are a great friend and thanks for watching scouter yesterday.

I definately think I'm quality time...thus why we need to hang out more.

Susan said...

We read this book in a book group I attended quite a few years ago. When I shared it with my husband, he said,"I'm suppose to figure out the way you want to be loved. I'm not a mind reader!" He didn't quite get it...luckily eventually he did. :)

{ Marianne } said...

We got that book as a wedding gift and we finally buckled down to read it. It's interesting book but I wouldn't say I loved it. It definitely has some good points though. I do think I need all of the different love languages though...I'm selfish like that:)

Natalie | The Bobby Pin said...

it is an interesting theory... I tend to say that we all percieve love differently, but it is important in life to not expect people to cater to you -- but to learn to receive love.

I think that is because of what I've dealt with in the past.

And dearest, I love your blog and totally email me!

Veronica King: aka Queen Vee said...

You should read the book if you get a chance, it's awesome. It opened a lot of communication doors in our marriage.

I have 2 love languages: Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service. =]

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

I've never read the book but I know all about it.
My husband and I have completely different love languages. It can be tough sometimes. But at least we've got each other figured out!