2.24.2010

The Cookie Massacre


Have you ever just lost it? Over what? A bad day at work? Hurt feelings? Something totally trivial and stupid? I would consider myself to be pretty even tempered. It takes a lot to get me to "lose it." Yeah I can engage myself in a heated argument depending on whether I'm passionate about the subject or not, but I hardly ever completely lose my cool. In fact, when a tiff instills between Trav and I, {yep we have fights.} I use a very calm voice. Trav has difficulty not raising his voice when he's frustrated and it angers him even more when I say things like: "Let's talk about this calm and rationally." or "Let's take a break." He really doesn't like my "calm" voice and says sometimes he wishes I would just yell. Well let me tell you a little story about the day I lost it. A few months back, I was baking cookies. Part of the problem was my choice of cookie cutter. {pictured above}


I thought it would be so lovely to make flower shape cookies for a special neighbor on a special blessing day. I hadn't made sugar cookies in quite sometime and I was naive to the fact that sugar cookies are a total pain in the butt and take FOREVER. After baking an overabundance of delicate flower shaped cookies and spending too much time making my own icing, I began my frosting pursuit of flawless flowers and had visions of compliments on my extraordinary cookie efforts. Every time I started frosting one of those blasted lovely flowers, at least 1 "pedal" would break off. Despite my efforts to "frosting glue" them back together, I continued to throw all cookies with missing appendages in the garbage. {Poor little guys.} -Let's pause for a second. When it comes to crafting, gift giving, baking, etc. I am an unhealthy perfectionist. I want everything to look and taste perfect. I only like to present my best work. {Yeah, I should get over it.}-


At this point, a lot of things become fuzzy to me. I remember that it was getting pretty late and baby E had been up to his usual bedtime shenanigans. He was finally in bed. Trav was really tired which usually sometimes makes for a really bad mood. Without knowing what was ahead, he made a few comments to me. Something about leaving things till the last minute, making way too much work for myself, possibly something about the dishes, and a few other things I really don't remember. What I do remember is the burning sensation that began to take over my body. After spending all day {literally} taking care of E and doing my best to bake the cookies at opportune nap times, I hadn't even had a shower. I was covered in cookie dough and staring down a garbage full of broken cookies as well as considering a sad total of complete and undamaged flowers. This is when I snapped.


Cookie lovers may not want to proceed. The next series of events might disturb you.


With a spatula in hand I proceeded to smash all the cookies that were innocently cooling on the cookie sheet in front of me. I then picked up another sheet full of cookies, and dumped them all over the kitchen floor. -Phew! my heart rate picked up a bit just remembering the unfortunate series of events.- Trav had left the room before all of this transpired, and came running when he heard the crash. He took one look at the pile of broken cookies on the floor and stared at me in utter disbelieve. I really don't think he thought I was capable of such a thing. He tried talking to me with sincere concern. I didn't say a word. I just walked directly to our room and sat on our bed staring at the T.V. {It was turned off.} I sort of put myself in time out. Over the next hour, Trav must have come in to "check" on me at least 4 times. He seemed to be really concerned for my mental health. I truly never do things like that, and I'm considered the calm one of our household. In the end I told him why I thought I must have freaked out, and he helped me finish what was left of the cookies.


I'm a real person. I make real mistakes, and sometimes I get upset. I'm happy to report that nothing even remotely close has happened in our household again yet. Am I the only one out there guilty of a cookie massacre?

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17 comments:

Rene W. said...

We all have our moments, I am sure... I've defenately come close to hurling my laptop like a frisbee at my DH but no cookie tossing so far :) I was right behind you at SITS today &I am in love with your blog! ~ Renee

Heather said...

ahahahahaha! This post was fabulous! :) I just joined SITS today & found you through a comment at the featured canvas blog. Anyway, this post had me laughing out loud! :) I can't wait to check out the rest of your blog- but first I think I'll add it to my RSS feed :) So nice to find you! :)

J. L. W. said...

I have come close and they to were sugar cookies-sugar cookie ghost lollipops to be exact. They were supposed to be for a kids halloween party. I can't count the number of botched recipes that have ended up in the garbage.

Great post!

greenhornet said...

Glad to see you have some of me in you. Grandpa use to say that it was healthy to be able to get mad it showed "passion". My words not his.

Lindsay said...

Hoooo Boy, I have a similar story. Ha ha, involving Halloween and a very unfortunate homemade mask. Let's just say I ended up staying home to pass out candy that year....

Mykell said...

oh my Sarah, that was so funny!! I would have used a rolling pin and I probably would have thrown a few things at Aaron for the stupid comments!! After 7 years he has learned to be quiet and let it go or get in there and help me. Its okay to have moments, and I have a lot of them, it doesnt make you a bad person!!

{z} said...

hahaha. I was about to post a similar story...not about cookies but about needing an attitude check. love that your keepin it real!

John + Eliza McKeon said...

Sarah I love your blog! You crack me up! You are very even tempered--I can testify because we were roommies. However, I know about your perfectionist ways :) So I could imagine the whole story while reading it lol! I also could picture it because I too have been through several of my own "cookie massacres!" I seem to have one at least every few months. It keeps things interesting...

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

LOL, awesome. I consider myself to be pretty even, or happy tempered. But I bet my husband would say otherwise.
For starters, I have never, ever been able to make an eatable sugar cookie. They are usually chocolate chip, and I would never hurt anything chocolate like that.
But, the longer I am married, the more and more uneven tempered I become. My husband and I are just so different. I have yet to throw anything, or even yell. I mostly just cry and inflict mental pain and anguish.
Perhaps I'll try the sugar cookie trick. I like it. =)

Dave and Lindsey said...

ok well first of all---i love you and i love your blog!

second of all, i have had MANY cookie massacres. i am a lot like you and i need all of my crafty creations to be perfect! sometimes i lose perspective and get caught up in perfection.

i used to decorate cakes and i had to give it up because it brought out the swear word in me! i have totally been there before-- not showered, covered in frosting and wanting to smash the cake to the floor...

xoxo

J+S said...

Thanks for your comment today. Yes, feel free to link back to my blog in your post about H&M...I will be anxiously awaiting what I hope will be an announcement in your post that they told you they are building one in Utah tomorrow. :)

~Jenifer

Brian and Whitney said...

I love this post. It sounds like someone I know. I love people like you that don't pretend to be something they are not. Next time I have a moment like this I am going to remember I am not the only one. That is why we are on this earth to learn and grow and one day far far away reach perfection.

Cherish said...

I was recently wondering if anyone else ever had moments like that:). So I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one. My husband says some of those same things to me ...and of course always at the wrong moment:). It's hard working around a babies schedule & still able to get anything else done. Thanks for the laugh!

Heidi said...

That was the greatest story ever!

jessica.emily.adams said...

First of all, hooray for you being human!
Second of all, the first thing I thought of when I saw the cookie cutter, even before reading: "oooh. delicate petals make frosting and such a pain in the butt." I'm sorry it was so frustrating.
Third of all, we are so alike in so many ways. Why can we not just BUY cookies and frosting and save ourselves (and our husband) the expense of sanity?
Do you think our neighbors and friends would mind if sometime we gave them something not homemade or cutesy? I haven't tried yet because I'm a perfectionist like you, dang it!
Fourth of all, I like you. I'm glad we're friends.

tw715 said...

Tasha, the VanWagoners' friend, here. That was fantastic. Truly! I've definitely had a cookie massacre and ya know what? I'll probably have another one sooner than later. If it helps release the inner tension we women feel, I say sacrifice the cookies!

Aubrey Anne said...

I wish I had time to read all these comments! You would just die if you could see how often I have a "massacre" in my house. My whole life has been a series of mental breakdowns and outbursts like this. How lucky your husband is to have this be a shock to him. My poor husband just has to sigh and say, "Honey, do you need to lie down for a while?" lol :) You are a great writer, I can't wait to read more of your work.