1.21.2010

Good Question...

Remember this show from the 80s? Tony, Mona, and Sam have nothing to do with the issue on my mind, but it poses a really good question for me and the happenings at my house. Who is the boss? I'm sure Travis would like to think it's him, and lets be honest, I would vote for me, but guess who's in the lead...the youngest and smallest member of our family. How can someone so small govern the very household that we've worked so hard to provide for him?

He's such a good baby. He really doesn't give me much grief at all until...bedtime. He decided about 2 months ago that bedtime really isn't his thing. He'd rather not sleep in his crib, he'd rather not sleep on a schedule, and he'd really rather not sleep at all. I realize that this is probably my fault. For the same reasons he doesn't like to sit by himself for very long. I just like to hold him. That's all I can say. I like him to be in my arms or on my lap, and I especially like to hold him, rock him, and sing to him before bedtime. For this reason he has become content to sleep in my arms all night, and expects it. It's like they say: you train them, or they train you. I'm obviously a serious failure at "baby training."

After admitting defeat and realizing it might be nice if he could soothe himself to sleep, so that Trav and I could actually have some alone time, I decided to try letting him cry. A lot of people swear by the method, and according to babywise it's an essential way to achieve a sleep scheduled baby. How is it going? It's not. We tried the whole time interval thing where we let him scream and then went in to check on him every 10 then 15 then 20 min. This is where he becomes the boss. That kid would scream until he was hoarse. He would absolutely not give up, and he knows that eventually, his mama will give in. I just can't handle it. I know, I know. In the eyes of borderline nazi parenting methods I am perceived as weak sauce.

Since becoming a parent I read a lot more than I used to. I enjoy it, and feel it's my responsibility to gain as much knowledge as I can so that I can correctly assess and make decisions that directly affect my son and his development. I've read the first 2 editions of "On Becoming Babywise", "The Baby Whisperer", and I live for my monthly "Parents" magazine subscription. I've taken some good things from the materials I've read, but I've also learned that there really isn't a correct guide to parenting. As cheesy as it sounds, my best resource has been my heart. The whole crying to sleep thing may not work for him. We're working on alternative methods. I'll have to let you know how it goes. In the mean time, he's still the main contender for "the boss" in our household. Answer me this...


Don't ya kind of want him to boss you around?


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7 comments:

Meggera said...

Oh Sar.. I too have issues with the "let your child scream their lungs out before they fall asleep" method. You are doing exactly what you should... working around what the little man needs! And yes, I would most certainly let him boss me around!

Mykell said...

Emmet is the same way. What I have found to work is at about 8 I give him oatmeal, the baby food gross stuff, and then warm bath and after that the lights are very dim, I rub lavender oil on his feet and belly, hold him, play quietly then I nurse him at the same time every night and he usually falls asleep quickly and stays for about 4 hours, eats and sleeps another 4 hours. Except last night he went a whole 8 hours, I was beyond happy!!! The whole bedtime thing is about consistency. The dim lights helps their brains realize it is time to settle down, and lavender is very relaxing. You will figure it out, quickly I hope, for your sake!! Good luck.

The Sweet Life said...

Sarah, I had the exact same problem with Owen when he was that young. Somehow we got through the whole "wake up in the middle of the night, and won't go back to sleep unless mommy holds me" thing. The first one is always the "experiment", right? Well now I know that with my next one I'm going to be a tougher mommy, and teach the baby when they are small to cry themselves to sleep. I know I'll have a hard time (just like I did before and like you are now), but I'll remember the crazy nights with Owen and maybe let the little one learn. But in the mean time Owen still wants to be held to go to sleep and he's two. But, actually, at this age that is what I want because that is the only time he will really let me hold him and cuddle him. I love bedtime now because my crazy little two year old that doesn't want me to hold him or squeeze him while he's wild and into everything, will calm down at night time, and nap time,give me a hug and kiss and tell me he loves me and then slowly falls into a deep sleep in my arms. And I guess I need this for the other reason because I don't get to put him to sleep 4 nights of the week because of work. So good luck and let me know how it's going. I know this wasn't really helpful, but just remember when he's two you'll be glad for the cuddling before night night time!

Josh and Cali said...

Seriously- I learn something from you every day. I am in that phase, where I don't want to put Oak down...ever! So thank you, once again for probably helping me out in the future. As for E- Yes. I do want him to boss me around! Can that picture be any cuter? Or should I say Handsomer? Seriously- you have got a major stud on your hands!!!

Amy said...

Sarah... you are all other moms, seriously! Mae was the exact same way. We finally tried the method where you go in every 5 minutes (more like every 2 minutes) and she eventually learned to fall asleep with her binky. it was TOUGH though. She has ALWAYS woken up in the night though and gotten in bed with us, and still to this day does. I really don't mind that - its just the getting to sleep that they should do on their own. But also, remember he'll only be this little baby once. He'll eventually grow out of bad habits and what matters is that you, Travis and baby boy are happy. However you manage this is acceptable.

Natalie Jane said...

So what I am hearing is that we both have chunky baby boys that don't sleep, we are both Mormon and we both have the middle name Jane .

Awesome :)

Darling blog by the way.

Shay said...

when you said your fam pics were coming I assumed Holly did them so I just looked and they are so cute!! 6 months was one of my favorite stages.
I eventually started a nightly routine like Mykell: tubby quiet time, read a book, nurse.. For like 4 months I always had to stay up later than Aaron and it was hard cause I think it's SO important that you both get to 'go to bed' together. But every baby & everyone's situation is so different.